Guided

I disappointed my Queen last night.  It wasn’t disobedience, or feeling grumpy or anything of that nature.  I’d written a post for here – I believed it was well written and thought out and I read it to my Queen fully expecting Her to tell me it was intelligent and entertaining and that I had the okay to publish it.  Instead She said ‘I can tell you right now, that post is never going to see the light of day.’  And then She told me why.

She told me I was puffed up with self-importance, that the tone was certainly not that of a submissive and worse, that the post was bitchy.  My Queen said She was very disappointed in me and that She expected better from me, that She wanted this blog to be a positive experience, not just for me but for other submissives reading it, not something that was mean spirited or bitchy.  She told me that I was better than this.  I was immediately upset with myself, because I had acted in a way which disappointed my Queen, and I was filled with a determination to work harder towards being the person She thought I could be.

O/our D/s dynamic is not just a way for U/us to get O/our rocks off, to do kinky things nor even to make my Queen’s life more comfortable by having me at Her beck and call.  It is about care and love and development of self – helping each other be all that W/we can.  My Queen expects me to be the best person I can be and when I fell short last night She wasted no time in telling me.  O/our dynamic enabled Her to quickly correct behavour that was beneath me and ensured that I listened and understood what the issue was.  And I didn’t argue as I might have, had I not been Her submissive.  Any arguments on my behalf would have been spurious and ego driven and my Queen, by being my Dominant, was able to cut right through that.

My Queen loves me, and wants the best for me and because I’m submissive to Her and obedient to Her instructions, She can help me achieve my potential by requiring that I do things I might otherwise be too lazy or lacking in motivation to do.  She can also, as in this case, tell me when I’m behaving in a manner that brings me down, make me stop.  With the right Dominant, submission can be a very powerful tool for self-improvement.